“I never thought I’d get an email from the school administration telling me what will happen if my child slaps a teacher,” my friend said. She was just flabbergasted that this was actually going on at her daughter’s middle school. The dangers of internet challenges became abundantly clear as that one started trending along with another, called “devious licks,” which had kids smashing mirrors and ripping soap dispensers off the walls in school bathrooms.
These challenges mostly fall into three categories: wholesome (Ice Bucket Challenge), dangerous (Milk Crate Challenge), and weird (Kylie Lip Challenge). Most will have you shaking your head and feeling genuine concern for the common sense of the participants. But what about your own kids? You raised them to be smarter than that, right? Before a sense of panic sets in, use these 5 ideas to help your kids choose wisely the next time an internet trend comes their way.
1. Be aware.
It’s hard to help your kids make smart choices about something you’re unfamiliar with, so parents need to stay on top of what’s popular. Don’t worry—you don’t need to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon to prove you’re in the know. Simply searching “popular internet challenges” or “TikTok trends” every few months will be a significant eye-opener.
2. Go back in history.
These trends rise and fall quickly, so once you catch on to one, the internet is already moving on to the next. Discuss old challenges and their dangers to raise awareness of how something can look harmless but potentially be harmful.
For example, the “salt and ice challenge” has participants put table salt on exposed skin, add an ice cube, and then hold it there as long as they can tolerate the pain. Kids might think it’s just a “who can handle the pain” challenge, but several kids ended up with severe burns, as the game is basically giving the child frostbite.
3. Ask questions.
As you learn about different TikTok trends, talk to your kids about them, but instead of lecturing, ask questions like, “Have you done or would you ever do this?” “Are there victims?” “Have you thought about the dangers of internet challenges like this?” and “What’s the worst possible outcome?” This is a chance to talk about your family’s values and how you treat people, property, and your own body.
I talked to my sons about the tooth filing trend. It’s just what it sounds like. People file their teeth to make them even and end up causing permanent damage. I asked my sons, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” They responded, “You could break your tooth!” Asking questions is a much more effective tactic than saying, “Don’t do this, kids. It’s idiotic.”
4. Use parental controls.
Peer pressure and the desire for approval and attention are strong motivators in kids. Don’t assume your child won’t make an unwise choice. Even the smartest, most responsible child’s brain is still not fully developed. Set controls that limit what your child can see and have family rules about screens being used in bedrooms and bathrooms. If you allow your child to use TikTok, have a “no earbuds” policy so you can overhear the types of videos he’s watching. Our printable Social Media Contract is a great resource that covers rules you might not have considered.
Don’t assume your child won’t make an unwise choice. Even the smartest, most responsible child’s brain is still not fully developed. Click To Tweet5. Let them participate.
There are a lot of fun and safe internet trends. Saying yes to some will tell your kids you’re not trying to squash all of their fun. Try the “gesture challenge”—you use your hands to copy a set of hand emojis that are shown on your screen. It sounds easy, but you have to imitate the gestures quickly and on beat to a song. Being part of the fun and allowing your kids some freedom with boundaries builds trust and a sense of safety.
What trends or challenges have your kids tried?
