“Buckled up?” I asked my 9- and 11-year-old sons as I pulled out of the driveway to head to school. My younger son piped up, “You ask us every day, but you don’t have to. You know we always put our seat belts on.” I replied, “I do have to say it. In the future, when you’re not with me, whether you’re in the front, the back, driving, or riding. I want it to feel awkward not to wear a seatbelt.”
As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, said, “The more a habit becomes part of your life, the less you need outside encouragement to follow through.” As a mom of a little one, you have the opportunity to start forming habits now that your child will naturally continue when he gets older and more independent. Here are 5 good habits for kids that are worth your time and effort today.
1. A Love of Non-Screen Activities
We used to roll up to restaurants with a bag full of supplies. Crayons, blank paper, activity books, stickers, matchbox cars… Anything to avoid a screen (or screams) at the table. You won’t be able to avoid the ubiquity of screens for much longer, so while they’re young, help your kids grow other interests and find other ways to engage.
Have a stack of books or an iMOM conversation starter printable in the car instead of a tablet. Designate a block of Saturday time as “outdoor fun only” in lieu of sitting in front of the TV. It’s much easier to build good habits for kids than break bad ones, and screen time is the number one offender.
2. Good Manners
Every time I see a video of a little girl being sassy to her parents and the commenters say “what a cutie,” I cringe. Language that’s cute at age 3 can cost your child friendships or get her detention at 13.
It’s hard work to teach a young child good manners (Our printable table manners and social manners can help!), and you’ll have more failures than successes for many years. But you’re doing your child a favor by quashing back talk, interruptions, and rudeness. A well-mannered child gets invited back to friend’s houses, treated more favorably by teachers, and gains more opportunities in young adulthood.
3. Healthy Food Choices
We drank a lot of soda growing up. There was always a two-liter on the counter. I know my parents didn’t have the same information I have now, but I’m still tempted to send them a copy of my dental bills.
Fast forward 30 years. I lived with my parents for a year while my kids were 1 and 2 years old. My mom only offered milk or water to drink and always put two kinds of vegetables on my sons’ dinner plates. They didn’t always gobble them up, but the healthy habit was beginning to form. This can be really hard if you have a picky eater, but keep making fruits and veggies available and you’ll have a teen with a healthy body (and nice teeth).
4. Open Dialogue
A 3-year-old’s problems might not feel like they warrant sitting down and having a heart-to-heart, but start the habit now and it will continue on into the more tumultuous years. Create a designated talk spot where your child knows you two can go to have an important conversation. Try a rocking chair or the end of your bed. When your little one says, “Mommy, I’m sad,” respond with, “OK. Let’s go to our spot and you can tell me about it.”
If you form a habit of listening well, your kids will develop a habit of talking freely about what’s on their minds.
If you form a habit of listening well, your kids will develop a habit of talking freely about what’s on their minds. Click To Tweet5. Prayer
Toddlers who repeat “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and the fish” can grow into tweens and teens who maintain ongoing conversations with God about hopes, fears, and direction for their lives. We can’t be with our kids all the time, so we want to teach them there is a loving God who listens and cares.
We have great tools for teaching little kids how to pray, and it’s never too late to start forming this habit.
What good habits for kids are you working on now that will serve your child well into the future?
