Backtalk from kids is one of the most frustrating behaviors parents have to deal with. Part of the difficulty is that it’s hard to define. Is a kid talking back when he disagrees? Is anything other than “yes ma’am” backtalk? Is it possible for a child to disagree and still be respectful?
Times have changed. Today, parents listen to their kids more and allow them to have a say more than they did a generation or two ago. Could more backtalk from kids be a result of the changing parent-child relationship? Of course, not all backtalk is created equal. So in this episode, we talk about the types of backtalkers and how to respond when one of your kids uses her words in a way that feels disrespectful.
When kids talk back, they’re exercising a critical life skill—what experts call a positive-assertion of self. In other words, kids are proving they have an opinion and are willing to share it. And isn’t this something most parents want for their kids? How do we encourage positive-assertion of self but clarify that we don’t allow disrespect? And how does this spill over into other areas?
Does allowing kids to talk back (and not punishing or disciplining them for it) condone the behavior and essentially give them the green light to be argumentative in school and in life? Does this set kids up for failure with relationships? Being clear with kids about what is and isn’t allowed when they’re given an instruction can teach valuable lessons about self-control. We can teach kids that while their opinions matter, it’s not always an appropriate time to share them.
Articles We Mentioned
Want Respectful Kids? Follow These 5 Steps
4 Types of Back Talkers and How to Deal With Them
Wise Words When Your Children Talk Back
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