Pop quiz! Which of these animals is not a name for a parenting style: jellyfish, tiger, dolphin, elephant, or hummingbird? Megan, Chloe, and Susan got the question wrong (Abby knew the answer already, but she admits she would’ve guessed wrong, too), and we all agreed there are too many labels for how people parent today. There are animals, heavy machinery (snowplow, lawnmower), and even styles based on words most people can’t pronounce, like “wabi sabi.” (Yes. That’s a parenting style). When you zoom out a bit, there are four general parenting types: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and neglectful. In this iMOM Podcast episode, we start there and then chat about why moms feel the need to put themselves into a category. Do you think labeling ourselves and each other as “gentle,” “free range,” “helicopter” or another style is helpful? Or could it cause us to second-guess our instincts as mothers?
Why are these labels so popular? You can’t scroll for two minutes on Instagram without coming across an account that promotes a particular style. Is it because it’s easier to package and market or sell to moms? Could it be built on fear? Are we so afraid of messing up and facing the consequences that come with that, that we are obsessed with “the right way?” Or are we trying to avoid the mistakes our parents made with us and adapting our style to try to avoid the thing that hurt us?
No matter what style you’re tempted to conform to, never forget that you were given these exact children for a reason. Yes, it’s important to grow in patience, persistence, kindness, diligence—all the things a mom needs to parent well—but don’t try to do it the way everyone else does. You’re unique, so parent uniquely!
Articles We Mentioned
4 Types of Parenting Styles: Which One Are You?
Gentle Parenting: A Passing Fad or the Style for You?
5 Ways to Know if You’re a Helicopter Mom
Article from The New Yorker: “The Harsh Realm of Gentle Parenting”
GMA Article: “Free-range to elephant parenting: How to find the right parenting style for you”
Printables We Think You’ll Like
Which of the parenting styles do you relate to and why? Or are you over the labels?
