As our kids grow up, we want to develop a trusting relationship with them. We want them to know they can come to us to talk, share what’s on their minds, and be open about what’s happening in their lives. But what do you do when your kids tell you things they don’t want you to share with their father? What about when they get in trouble and you find out before him? If they beg you to stay quiet, should you, in order to preserve the trust in your relationship?
This week’s story comes from Abby’s friend who received a phone call from her daughter’s science teacher because of a conduct issue. After school, Mom and daughter talked through the misbehavior, and then the request came: “Please don’t tell Dad.” Abby’s friend said, “Too late,” and the tears started flowing.
Have you ever been in a situation with one of your kids where you aren’t sure what should take priority: confidentiality and trust or your husband’s right to know? Not every situation is equal, so in this episode, Abby, Susan, Megan, and Chloe talk about these four types of scenarios and whether it’s right to stay quiet or share the truth: a bad grade or a call from the teacher, a personal issue, a relationship, and getting caught doing something bad.
They also discuss the underlying issue of why your child doesn’t want Dad to know. Is he too strict? Are they afraid of disappointing him? Are his rules unreasonable? If your son or daughter begs you not to tell your husband what’s happening, you should probably follow up with “why?”
Articles We Mentioned
Should Moms Keep Kids’ Secrets From Dads?
Should you keep your child’s secret from your spouse? Are there times when it’s ok? Tell us in the comments below.
