No child likes seeing parents fight. It can be scary to see the two people you love the most yell, disagree, or get angry with one another. In today’s episode, Abby shares a story about a time when she was a child and she gave her dad a gift to help him smooth things over with her mom. Do you remember seeing your parents fight? Did they do it well? Did they let you see them make up? Now, as a parent with little eyes watching and little ears listening, what do you do? Arguing in front of your kids is something many people disagree on, so we give it our attention in today’s episode.
Research shows that unresolved tensions after a parental disagreement are linked to increased anxiety, depression, and social phobia. But a 2017 study showed that middle-school students whose parents resolved their conflicts had better coping skills. Experts have also found that kids who watched their parents express warmth and empathy during conflict gained a sense of security. So there are definitely right and wrong ways to argue in front of the kids. One rule to follow is not to argue about the kids in front of them. Another is to reflect your love and respect in your style of fighting. No name-calling. No interrupting. No physical aggression.
Arguing in front of the kids should always end with making up in front of them. If the kids don’t see you resolve the issue, tell them you worked it out. Little ones might need to see you hug and kiss, too!
Articles We Mentioned
5 Things Your Kids Learn When They See You Fight
3 Keys to Good Conflict Resolution in Marriage
5 Ways to Teach Your Kids How to Argue
Research on Constructive and Destructive Marital Conflict
Research on Adolescents’ Responses to Marital Conflict
Do you and your husband argue in front of the kids? Do you have rules of engagement for those fights?
