“Dear parents, It has come to our attention that some rumors are going around the 5th grade…” That’s an email you never want to get from your child’s school principal, but that’s the story Abby shares at the start of today’s iMOM Podcast episode. Gossip and rumors have always been a source of conflict for friends, classmates, and even strangers. But has it gotten worse over time? Have we become more accepting of gossip because of celebrity culture and social media? It’s hard to teach our kids right from wrong when we’ve blurred the lines between gossip and entertainment.
Research shows spreading gossip significantly increases levels of oxytocin, the “warm fuzzies” hormone. It makes you feel good in the short term but can form dark pathways in your brain. When you gossip and get that hit of oxytocin, you train your brain to look for other things to gossip about. Your brain can start to write negative stories to get that hit of oxytocin. We have to ask our kids if they want to fix their thoughts on what is good or bad.
But why do kids gossip? To be accepted? To make themselves feel better? For social status? In this episode, we also give some practical tips to help your kids avoid being the spreader of gossip, the topic of gossip, or (where many kids find themselves) the bystander.
And, of course, talking to kids about gossip won’t do much good if we stand around and do it in front of them. It’s hard when there’s such a thin line between talking about someone in a caring, concerned way and gossiping about them. So we’ll also talk about ways adults can practice holding their tongues more often and resist the temptation to talk about others.
Articles We Mentioned
17 Ways to Derail Your Child’s Gossip Train
7 Tactics to Keep Kids Out of the Rumor Mill
Printables We Think You’ll Like
How do you teach your kids lessons about gossip?
