The day you signed your child up for a sport, you probably dreamed of cheering him on from the bleachers, scrubbing the uniform clean, and driving to and from games, talking about the great play he made or the improvements you’ve seen over the season. No parent starts a child in sports or an activity anticipating an abusive or harsh coach, but that’s what a lot of our kids end up dealing with.
In this episode of the iMOM Podcast, we talk about how to deal with a coach who is over the top. Do you know the signs of an abusive coach? There are three big ones (but your child might experience something not on this list). One is that the coach criticizes the player as a person, not for the skill, like saying, “What’s wrong with you?”
Another sign is that the coach creates a sense of instability. The goal is to gain control over the athlete. An example of this is letting one team member get water and saying no to another. A third sign is the coach pushes the player through injuries. Chloe, who played four years of college soccer, said she experienced all three of these!
Sometimes, parents notice the abuses going on, and other times, our kids suffer through them and are afraid to talk to mom and dad. So we ask the question: How do we create an environment where our kids know they can tell us what’s going on? How do we cheer them on but also make sure they know their physical and mental well-being is way more important than their success on the field?
We also talk about the line between character building and unnecessary suffering. Our kids are going to have to deal with difficult people for their entire lives, but how do you know when enough is enough?
Articles We Mentioned
5 R’s to Use With Your Kid’s Harsh Coach
All Pro Dad Chapters
If your kid’s coach is harsh, how did you handle it?
