Once a month, I get together with a group of women at church who have become some of my closest friends. They entered my life about a year after my divorce and became a representation of my fresh start. For a while, I was the only unmarried one in the bunch. Then Becca, who was also single, joined and we immediately connected. But as our group gathered month after month, I noticed Becca gradually starting to participate less. I called her one Wednesday after she didn’t show up at our meeting and asked if everything was OK.
Her response gutted me. “Sometimes I leave feeling worse than when I arrived,” she said. Her life as a single mom was so different from the married women’s lives that she wasn’t finding the community she needed. I understood. Months later, she told me she’d found a single mom support group, and it was helping so much that she thought about coming back to our small group. Talk about a win! If you’re looking for community, too, here are 3 reasons you should join a single mom support group.
1. To Remain Focused on Healing
Some women make the mistake of working on healing wounds only in the first months after a divorce or death of a spouse. But the struggles a single parent faces aren’t one and done. New issues—conflict, pain, grief—come in waves and are sometimes never fully resolved.
Checking in weekly or monthly with a single mom support group is a healthy, proactive way of dealing with your traumatic or life-altering event. Real healing requires getting to the source of the wound, which takes time and attention.
Real healing requires getting to the source of the wound, which takes time and attention. Click To Tweet2. To Feel Seen
One of the most difficult parts of the transition from married mom to single mom is that change of your identity. You wonder who you are and if anyone sees you. Some single moms feel seen but for the wrong reasons. Instead of being valued and admired by the people around you, you might feel like you’re being judged or pitied. But at a single mom support group, you don’t have to wear that label. You’re simply a mom who is working hard to raise her kids on her own. That unspoken connection single moms have will give you the recognition and acceptance you’re looking for.
3. To Learn
Some groups bring in specialists that provide valuable resources to single moms. Financial advisors, family therapists, pastors, experts in emotional intelligence—talk about a wealth of information. Do your research and seek out a single mom support group that helps you learn and grow and you’ll not only be in a community with women who understand you, but you’ll be gaining valuable knowledge that will help you gain all-around growth. Try looking for a group through MeetUp.com, SupportGroups.com (for online connections), or ask a therapist for a recommendation.
What would you need most from a single mom support group?
