Some of the toughest times in my entire parenting journey happened when I was a single mom—like waking in the middle of the night to a baby with a fever or getting a call from the preschool to tell me my daughter was crying uncontrollably and I couldn’t get there. But I have also experienced joy in my life that apart from being a parent, I never would have known existed.
Motherhood is hard. It can be overwhelming. But there is also something deep inside us that drives us to keep trying to do better and love more. There may be moments you feel like caving in. I challenge you to look for blessings in disguise. Here are 3 reasons why being a single mom is so hard—but also the best job you may ever have.
1. You’re carrying extra weight on your shoulders.
Whether you are the sole care provider for your children or in a co-parenting relationship, motherhood is hard and puts extra burdens on you. Your kids always need you and you also have work deadlines. When the days grow long and you are completely drained, your children seem to need you more than ever. Being the rock of the family can feel more crushing than foundational.
So where is the blessing in this? Think about carrying your kids on your shoulders. That’s weight, but you’ll look back on it fondly. In moments like these, the weight is hardly noticeable. Moms have an awesome opportunity to carry their kids and also to help their kids carry their own burdens. This sends the message that no matter what they encounter in life, you’re right there alongside them.
2. Stuff gets dumped on you.
I’ll never forget as a single mother when I was hit with the news that blindsided me—legal stuff. Motherhood is hard enough, but this added to my exhaustion and tested my financial limits. How? When? WHY? I thought to myself. It really didn’t matter. It was happening. Drama aside, we all will have unexpected experiences that are inconvenient or downright stressful and as a single parent, the responsibility falls on you. Appliances break. Kids get sick. Someone at work calls in sick. Before these things happen, have safeguards in place like a strong support system to fall back on, knowing where to access the right community resources, and being able to talk your personal struggles through with your children in an age-appropriate way.
Then there are the times when stuff getting dumped on you produces smiles and giggles. Think of the water fights with your children in the back yard or at the beach. Mr. Rogers said, “Play is the work of childhood.” In addition to helping your kids develop healthy social-emotional skills, simply letting them dump a bucket of water over your head from time to time creates memories that can last a lifetime.
3. You are brought to new heights.
Single motherhood is hard, but overcoming adversity can be empowering and helps develop our character. This idea became clear to me when I was working out with weights. If you want your muscles to grow, you have to increase the weight you lift. The muscles tear and repair themselves and that’s how growth happens. This idea can be applied to parenting, too. There are times when we feel like we can’t lift anymore, but the resistance is building strength within us. We learn, make changes where we need to, and approach the same trial differently the next time it arises. The result? We become better parents along the way.
Single motherhood is hard, but overcoming adversity can be empowering and helps develop our character. Click To TweetDepending on your child’s age and ability, consider exploring new heights with him or her. Build a treehouse, climb a rock wall, or traverse a rope course. Plan together how you’ll overcome any obstacles along the way. This helps equip your kids with the resilience and problem-solving skills they will need throughout life. And the feeling of accomplishing something together is an invaluable life experience you’ll always remember.
What are the greatest moments you have experienced as a single mother?
