Toward the end of one school year, I handed each of my children a questionnaire. I thought I knew my kids. I mean, we homeschooled, so I was their teacher as well as their mom. I knew who became quickly frustrated, who could spend hours on a creative project, and who needed regular breaks at the basketball hoop during the day.
I created the end-of-school survey to get a little snapshot of our year. This’ll be a sweet memento for their baby boxes, I thought. But as I read through their answers, I realized this was more than a cute keepsake. Their answers surprised me and confirmed that an end-of-school survey should become an annual tradition. Here’s what I discovered and why you should ask your kids some questions as they wrap up this academic year.
1. The survey teaches our children how to reflect.
I wanted to capture some of the year’s highlights, so I asked questions like “what was your favorite subject this year?” But I also wanted to help my kids pause and reflect. Questions like “What was most challenging for you this year?” and “What new thing did you do this year?” let our children stop and take stock of their struggles and growth.
When our children stop to reflect through an end-of-school-year survey, they can clearly see the lessons they learned. Writing it down helps cement those lessons even more. It helps them recognize mistakes they don’t want to repeat. It’s a confidence boost as they remember how they made it through that tough situation with their circle of friends or ended up learning those chemistry formulas after all. Pausing to reflect can also help them see the bigger picture in case they want to make changes for the next school year.
2. The survey gives insight into our parenting.
This questionnaire isn’t a performance review. Goodness knows we can be hard enough on ourselves with mom guilt about what we’re doing or not. An end-of-year survey is meant to help us look into the hearts of our children and show us valuable insight that doesn’t always surface in conversation.
I saw this the first year we did a survey. One question asked, “What would you most like me to understand about you?” and one of my boys wrote he wished I wouldn’t always suspect the worst. This was gold for me. I knew one of my defaults was to parent out of fear or try to root out a motive when I was correcting a child, but I could now see its effect on my children. That one comment has changed how I parent as I’ve worked to believe the best about my kids and make sure they know it.
3. The survey shows we’re listening.
These end-of-year questionnaires provide safe places for our children to put words to some of the year’s highlights and struggles. My kids don’t give long answers, but they do give honest answers. I can see them look up from their papers to think before looking down to write again.
I know we often tell our kids we’re proud, but having something specific in writing to look back on one day is the best kind of keepsake. Click To TweetIt’s also allowed me to put my own heart in writing. I added a parent note to each questionnaire where I filled in the blank: “I am most proud of you for _________.” It makes me pause and intentionally reflect on the school year for each of my kids to praise them for the good things I saw in them. I know we often tell our kids we’re proud, but having something specific in writing to look back on one day is the best kind of keepsake.
What would you most like to know about your child at the end of every school year?
