“Wanna do something different tonight?” my husband asked. I raised an eyebrow. With my comfy pants on and a bag of popcorn in the microwave, I wanted nothing more than to hop on the couch, pull my blanket over me, and watch Netflix. My husband flicked on the light leading to the basement. “Let’s play ping-pong! We haven’t played in a while. I could put some music on.” Behind me, the microwave sounded, the final pops of corn giving way to silence. I inhaled the buttery air as my husband swung an invisible paddle back and forth. “Um… OK,” I said. He grinned and bounded down the stairs as I plodded slowly afterward. An hour later, I felt…
Like a newlywed! I’d thought I was tired, but within minutes, my husband and I were laughing and playing while the music kept us pumped and on our toes. It was a rush! Sometimes breaking out of a rut is exactly what your marriage needs. There are other ways to love your husband like a newlywed by rekindling love from those early years. Here are 5 ways to get started!
1. Bring back the thrill of surprises.
During our first year of marriage, my husband surprised me with flowers and little trinkets he’d find when he traveled. These days, a full tank of gas is a great surprise. When you’ve been married for a while, things can become predictable. The kids take up your time, and sometimes you put your husband on the back burner. But if you want to add a little spark to your relationship, surprise him here and there. Put a piece of chocolate in his work bag. Pick up his favorite ice cream the next time you’re at the grocery store.
When you surprise someone, it shows forethought and care. And that’s good for your relationship. He may pick up on the adrenaline rush of surprises and do the same for you.
2. Be intentional with messaging.
When we first got married, I liked to hide notes in my husband’s jacket pocket or stick them on the mirror for him to see when he woke up. But it seems like now, finding time just to talk with my husband gets lost in the hustle. So, I’m trying to make the effort like I did when we were newlyweds. Sending a text during the day is easy. But I’m trying to do more. I’ll keep him company as he picks out his clothes for the morning. We’ll coordinate our schedules so we can walk the dog together. I want him to know I’m still his biggest fan.
Little ways to be intentional have a big effect on your relationship. When your husband knows he’s important to you, he feels loved, and feeling loved often makes a person want to return the love.
When your husband knows he’s important to you, he feels loved, and feeling loved often makes a person want to return the love. Click To Tweet3. Find opportunities to be alone together.
It wasn’t hard to be alone together for the first few years of our marriage. We did everything together! But then kids came along, and things changed. We had another set of eyes in the house, watching our every move. And as our kids grew, we found ourselves sitting in the bleachers watching games with other parents or driving places with kids in the back. Finding time to be alone with my husband only seemed to happen at night.
But if rekindling love is important to you, alone time is absolutely necessary. You need the space to be adults together to remember what it was like before growing your family.
4. Share your dreams.
Do you remember sharing your dreams with your husband when you were newly married? I remember talking with him about future children, places we wanted to visit, and what we wanted to accomplish in our careers. Dreaming aloud with my husband was fun and something we did together on the couch in the evening or any time thoughts popped into our heads.
Tell your husband your dreams now. Do you want to travel? Do you see a new job waiting for you in the future? Find out his dreams. Sharing these intimate places of your heart will draw you closer and hopefully rekindle that fire you once shared as newlyweds.
5. Anticipate bedtime.
Rekindling love with your husband can be hard when bedtime is so late. Last night, our daughter had an afterschool activity that went until 8:30. Then she announced around 9 o’clock, “I have math homework!” We couldn’t leave her at the kitchen table and sneak off. But we could change into pajamas and do our nightly routines while we took turns checking on her to get to bed quicker.
According to the nonprofit Eagle Family Ministries, “Bedtime for couples is crucial for cuddling and connecting intimately on an emotional and physical level.” Snuggling up with your husband gives you both the attention you need apart from your kids.
Can you give us some other suggestions on rekindling love in a marriage?
Want an article to share with your husband? Send him 5 Questions to Ask Your Wife from All Pro Dad.
