Are you asking yourself, “Should I leave my teen home alone for a weekend?” My parents did it (for 12 days actually), and I don’t know what they were thinking. I was 14. My sister was 16. They went across the country to California. Now, it was summer break and my grandfather lived next door, but still. It was a bold move. I remember my mom leaving us with groceries, money, movie tickets (for Forrest Gump), and a prayer.
As crazy as leaving us alone seems to me now, my sister left for college a year later, so at some point, she had to be given a chance to prove herself. If you’re considering a weekend away, what should your kids need to be able to do to stay home alone for an extended length of time? Cook? Perform CPR? What are the most important criteria? I think it boils down to these 3 things.
1. Responsibility
If you’re asking, “Should I leave my teen home alone?” I’ll answer your question with a question: Does your teen act responsibly when you’re home? If your teen isn’t responsible enough to take care of things when you’re watching, it’s probably not wise to assume he’ll behave differently when you’re away.
If your teen isn’t responsible enough to take care of things when you’re watching, it’s probably not wise to assume he'll behave differently when you’re away. Click To TweetEven good kids will push boundaries when parents aren’t looking. My sister and I did. Can your teen be trusted not to have friends over? Can he do the things that need to be done like cleaning up after himself? Will he get homework done or go to work if he’s scheduled?
2. Maturity
There’s a difference between responsibility and maturity. My 10-year-old son could probably be trusted to go food shopping (he’s pretty grocery savvy), but when the lights go out at night and the tree outside his window starts creaking, he’s the first to come running saying he’s scared. And that’s OK. But until he is able to tell himself there’s nothing to be afraid of, I won’t leave him home alone.
Maturity comes into play at more than just bedtime. How does your teen handle sibling issues? How does she react in a stressful situation? Does she already babysit and stay home alone with no issues?
3. Skills
I wouldn’t say my sister and I were super independent, but we could cook a few dishes. We’d also watched our dad lock up the house every night, and we knew what days the trash had to go to the curb.
There’s a practical aspect to consider if you’re asking, “Should I leave my teen home alone for a weekend?” After all, life doesn’t stop just because you’re away. If your son has to work, can he run a load of laundry to clean his uniform? If the toilet backs up, does he know how to use the plunger? Can your kid survive on Pop-Tarts all weekend? If not, boiling water and preheating the oven are good skills to teach now, so your teen will be able to enjoy a real meal while you’re gone.
If it’s a yes to all three, do these things before you go.
Like I said, even the best kids will see what they can get away with when they’ve been given a bit of independence. So talk about rules and consequences with your teens. If you find out they had a party, what will their punishment be?
Establish a check-in person and tell your kids they’ll get surprise visits from a neighbor or friend. Make sure your check-in person is someone who can’t be fooled easily. My grandfather was not that person. Then talk through scenarios. If there’s an emergency, what do you do? Don’t assume they know. Talk it out and give them and yourself peace of mind.
What criteria do you have for leaving a teen home alone overnight?
