“We’re goin’ on a cruise!” my friend Nicole declared a couple of weeks after my divorce was final. Four of us girls bought our tickets, packed our suits and sundresses, and kissed our kids goodbye for five whole days. We had a blast, having uninterrupted conversations, remembering life before kids, and not talking about marriage or divorce.
I think that vacation checked an invisible box inside of me—the one next to “spend time with friends who know you well.” Over the next several months, I checked a few more boxes that helped me gain peace and a sense of self. Whether you’re divorced and sharing custody, widowed, or raising your children on your own, creating a single mom bucket list will help you grow into a new and stronger you. I know you don’t have a ton of time on your hands, so here are 5 things that rank at the top of the list of musts.
1. Take a getaway with friends.
Maybe you can’t do a cruise, but even an in-town escape can help you unplug from the chaos of life. Spend the night in a hotel downtown. You can lounge by the pool and spit your toothpaste into a sink you don’t have to clean. You know all those people who’ve said, “Let me know what you need?” Call one of them and ask for a weekend of free babysitting.
Having alone time with friends is good for the soul and will remind you of all the wonderful things people see in you.
2. Learn how to _____.
What have you always wanted to know how to do? After a friend’s divorce, she took singing lessons and joined the local community theater troupe. Her kids did homework backstage at rehearsals, and, come show time, they cheered on Mom with flowers and a standing ovation.
When you become a single mom, it’s easy to focus on what you’ve lost. Learning something new will remind you there’s life and growth ahead.
Learning something new will remind you there’s life and growth ahead. Click To Tweet3. Master a skill that was his.
When a friend’s husband passed away after 20 years of marriage, she admitted she didn’t know how to pay their mortgage or even how much the monthly payment was. The next several months were challenging but empowering because she became self-sufficient. Every single mom bucket list should include something you relied on your husband to do. Can you change a tire? What about fix a leak under the sink? Look for a fix-it project, ask YouTube how to do it, and flex your single mom muscles.
Learning one of the things that was his domain will prove you’re capable and strong.
4. Write a letter to your children’s father.
No matter how you became a single mom, you probably have things you want to say to your kids’ dad. If you’re a widow, you might be scared that you are left to raise your children alone. If you’re divorced, maybe you want to tell him you’re angry, you forgive him, or you regret something you said.
You can burn the letter or tuck it away. Just writing the words on paper will help you process your emotions and let go of what needs to be released.
5. Buy new bedding.
OK, this is a fun one. I didn’t get a new mattress until about five years after my divorce. I’m pretty unsentimental, so it didn’t bother me to have the old mattress. I have to admit, though—it did feel refreshing the first time I slept on my new one.
Pick up a new set of sheets or change out your comforter. The crisp, clean feeling will remind you of fresh starts.
This is a short single mom bucket list. What would you add to it?
