All right, you made it through the first hard moment of the year—the kiss at midnight. It’s difficult to be the one at the party who doesn’t have a husband to smooch. Or did you spare yourself the awkwardness and stay home with Netflix as your date? No shame there!
A new year can bring complicated emotions for a single mom, but it should also bring a glimmer of hope because it’s a reminder that new beginnings are possible. If you’re still pondering what kind of growth you’d like to see in your life this year, we’re right there with you. We all wonder—what’s that thing I can do that will make my life change for the better, especially after going through a tough time? Try one of these 5 resolutions for single moms, and make this year one of growth and renewal.
1. Rediscover part of yourself that’s been missing.
My friend Rachel lost her husband to cancer a few years ago. Over coffee, she told me she felt exhausted by her grief and missed the light and joyful side of herself. Eventually, she decided to start gardening. She planted one herb, one flower, and one vegetable. I was thrilled for her when, a few months later, I received a selfie of her and the kids smiling at the dinner table with sautéed rosemary green beans and a cluster of bright yellow marigolds in a vase.
A powerful resolution for a single mom, whether you’re divorced or widowed, is to look at what part of you has been lost to anger, grief, or confusion about your identity, and take steps to rediscover it.
2. Try something new.
A friend of mine needed an additional source of income after her divorce. She’d been taking the same weight training class for three years and decided she wanted to try her hand at teaching. She gave herself six months to get certified and take over one of the classes on the YMCA’s schedule.
Trying something new, whether it’s a hobby, going back to school, or just switching up your hairstyle, can remind a single mom that she has a bright future filled with opportunities.
3. Give yourself a daily pep talk.
I read the book Soundtracks by Jon Acuff about a year ago. He has a specific list of affirmations that he calls “My New Anthem.” Almost every morning, I say them while looking into the mirror right after I brush my teeth. Same time, same 10 affirmations every day. They include “I’ve got a gift worth giving” and “Winning is contagious. When I help others win, I win too.” I know I might miss a few days, so my goal is to say them 25 times a month.
Chances are, someone in your life is sending you a message that you’re not enough. Maybe it’s the world, maybe it’s your ex-mother-in-law, or—most detrimental—maybe it’s you. A daily pep talk can reprogram your mind to think differently. Your attitude and actions will follow.
4. Let go of relationships that drain you.
When I went through my divorce, a woman reached out to me through my job and befriended me. She’d been divorced for about 10 years. I was grateful for her listening ear and guidance. After some time, I noticed she held a lot of contempt for her ex-husband, and I knew that wasn’t a voice I wanted influencing my attitude.
I didn’t want to cut her off completely, but some relationships have their seasons. If you have a friend, new or old, who is making it hard for you to heal or grow, it’s OK to let that person go.
If you have a friend, new or old, who is making it hard for you to heal or grow, it’s OK to let that person go. Click To Tweet5. Embrace frugality.
Set a goal to create two batch meals every Sunday. There are different interpretations of “batch meals,” but one idea is to make double or triple the recipe to have leftovers later in the week or for freezing. My favorite foods to batch are overnight oats for a quick breakfast and chili for a cozy dinner. When you make a big batch, you rarely end up with that leftover vegetable that sits in the fridge and rots. And having meals in your freezer means less dining out. Both are big money savers!
Saving money can be fun, and watching your debt decrease and your savings increase is empowering. Instead of “get on a budget,” a great resolution for single moms is to explore interesting ways to be more money-conscious and frugal with your spending. Think less “deprivation,” more “strategy.”
What resolutions for single moms would you add to the list?
