You complete me. That was the beautiful declaration of love between an affectionate young couple in the 1990s film Jerry Maguire, and it later became one of the most memorable movie lines and quotable quotes of all time. That statement still comes to mind when I think of my husband. Yes, it is romantic. But, you see, we are very much opposites. In fact, when we were going through premarital counseling, I can remember one discussion that centered on our interests. Let’s just say we weren’t exactly on the same page. We talked about maybe finding concerts to attend together. My mind went to the local philharmonic. He brought up going to a rock concert. He’s completely into sports. I could care less.
But we do complement each other in many different ways; this is good. But when it comes to doing things together, that’s when it gets tricky. And even though our intentions are good, we haven’t always been good at finding ways to spend time just the two of us.
It’s time for husbands and wives to get out of our ruts and try something new together. Research shows that doing something new or challenging with your spouse can boost the chemical dopamine in your brain which also helps fuel your sex drive—another benefit to finding common interests with your man.
Finding a mutual hobby has been on our to-do list for the past 20 years. And this year, my husband and I decided to be intentional about cultivating more common interests. Here are 3 ways to start finding common interests with your husband.
1. Try something your husband likes to do.
Is he an avid sports fan? Surprise him with a pair of tickets to see your local baseball or hockey team in action. He’ll be thrilled—not just to see a sports event but because it’s combined with time with you. And I can bet you’ll even find yourself enjoying the night out with him. If you can’t get away, just cozy up next to him on the couch when his favorite team is on TV. Make him his favorite game-time snack and give your diet a break for the afternoon. You can ask him what’s going on and learn a thing or two. Maybe you’ll become a fan, too!
2. Invite him to do something you enjoy.
Recently, I was invited to a painting party to celebrate my friend’s birthday. When my husband heard this, he nervously asked if he had to go. And why not? There are plenty of places that do paint nights. Do it together. He doesn’t have to be artistically inclined. It’s all about having fun together. Make plans, set aside a few bucks, and go out for a nice dinner and an afternoon of shopping. I’m pretty sure your guy will survive the mall. Concert in the park? Chick flick? It’s probably not his first choice. But investing time together is worth it.
3. Do something new together.
This can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have many common interests like us. Make time for some trial and error. Look up events or classes in your local newspaper or online. Try these 8 outside the box date night ideas. If something pops out at the both of you, go for it! Will each activity be a complete success? No. But, at least, you tried and guaranteed you’ll have some great stories to tell after the fact
What activities have you and your husband tried together?
Lori Clapper is a radio personality, freelance writer, editor, speaker, mom to three kids, and is married to an incredible guy.
