I sure hope I’m not a controlling mother, but sometimes I fear that I am. I’m certainly more hands-on with my children than my mom was, and I do tend to give a lot of direction and instruction to my children.
Sadly, even good, caring moms can veer into the controlling zone (think helicopter parent), and it’s a place that’s not healthy for us or our children. In fact, a new study found that controlling mothers are viewed more negatively by their children.
So how can you be sure you’re not a controlling mother? Here are two of the things you can do to be less controlling:
1. Give your children as much independence as you can.
Independence teaches kids to take responsibility and start learning how to make their own decisions. The goal of parenting is to teach your children to control themselves. Our job is to show them how much they are loved, while teaching them how to govern themselves and make wise decisions. There is no better way to do this than letting them have some independence.
2. Let them voice their opinions.
When children learn to voice their opinions, they will also learn how to protect their important relationships. It is important for them to learn how to disagree in a diplomatic and loving way, if they want to maintain positive and healthy relationships with others. The best way they can practice this skill is at home with you in a safe environment.
When children learn to voice their opinions, they will also learn how to protect their important relationships.
Here are more ways you can avoid being a controlling mother:
- Controlling mothers are a lot like helicopter parents. Here are 4 Ways to Avoid Being a Helicopter Parent
- Instead of being a controlling parent, try these 12 Ways to Be a Hands-On Parent.
- Let go (at least a little!) and use these 5 Ways to Build Independence in Your Tween.
- Let go a little more with these 4 Ways to Deal With Your Teenager’s Independence.
- And, read the study about how controlling moms are viewed by their children.
On a scale of 1-10, how controlling are you with your kids?