“My whole world.” This was the caption beneath my friend’s social media post, a picture of her two children. Aww, I thought. That’s sweet. But then I paused. Your whole world?
A couple of days later, I was chatting with a mom at a school event when she said something similar: “Everything I do is for my kids. I mean that’s the way it should be.” Again, I paused. Everything? I knew these two women had husbands, friends, and careers, so I was a bit stumped. Are these types of comments sweet and heroic, or are they unhealthy? Here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t say “my kids are my world.” And even if you don’t find yourself saying those exact words, do your habits and priorities speak for you?
1. It’s a heavy weight for kids to bear.
Would you like to be the sole person responsible for someone else’s purpose in life? It sounds nice at first, but it would get old really fast. Why? Because it’s too much pressure.
This is how our kids feel too, especially as they get older. If our whole world revolves around them, it puts all of our happiness and well-being on the shoulders of our kids. And let’s be realistic—they are only human. They will make mistakes, disappoint us, and just want to find some independence.
2. You’re setting yourself up for burnout.
If everything you do really is for your kids, I can tell you right now: Mom burnout is on the horizon! While it’s totally admirable for your kids to be one of your top priorities, when you never invest in yourself, you’ll eventually wind up with an empty tank.
Taking time to do things that interest you apart from your kids will refill that tank, giving you life and energy you didn’t have before. And there are many ways pursuing your own passions benefits your kids, too. Not all the things you do have to be about your kids in order to benefit them.
Not all the things you do have to be about your kids in order to benefit them. Click To Tweet3. There is actually more to your world.
And those things need your attention. If you are feeling like your kids are the only good thing in your life, or if you feel like your whole world revolves around them, it might be time to examine your other relationships. Husbands, friends, extended family, personal interests, and careers are important, too. If you neglect them, you’ll regret it down the road. When your kids are off to college, living their own lives, who and what will you have left?
Here are the tough questions every mom needs to ask herself:
Is there some hard work that needs to be done to improve your other relationships? Is your relationship with your kids just the easiest one? Don’t use your kids as an excuse to avoid working on other relationships in your life. Working through problems with your husband, friends, and even with your career in order to arrive at a happier and healthier place may seem hard, but it will pay off in the long run.
What are your thoughts about saying “my kids are my whole world?”
