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7 Ways to Raise Strong Kids

My sons love comparing their biceps to mine. They flex their skinny arms and their faces get red as they will their muscles to grow bigger. Then they feel my arms and look at me in awe. Do I spend hours in the gym? No. Definitely not. But I’m an adult. These arms have held babies, carried groceries, moved couches… I tell them, “Someday, your muscles will be even bigger than mine.”

I know my kids will face some of the things that have made me physically and mentally strong, and they’ll have their unique challenges, too. It’s a parent’s job to raise up a child who won’t cower from challenges. The good news is there are things you can do right now to set them up to grow in strength in the face of adversity. Here are 7 things a mom can do to raise up a child to be strong.

1. Give kids a foundation of faith.

I have seen in my own children and in my own experience that kids who have a set of core beliefs that don’t change over time are better equipped to navigate an ever-changing world. Help them to develop a relationship with God. It will give them a sense of self-worth and identity that can carry them through difficult moments.

2. Let them take risks.

You may know that she’ll never get the lead in the school play, or that he won’t make the baseball team, but parents who want to raise up a child to be strong will let them get out there and live, knowing that it won’t always go well. If you steer your kids away from experiences that you know probably won’t be “successful,” you rob them of the chance to learn first-hand how to handle disappointment and re-group for the next big thing.

If you steer your kids away from experiences that you know probably won’t be “successful,” you rob them of the chance to learn firsthand how to handle disappointment and regroup for the next big thing.

If you steer your kids away from experiences that you know probably won't be successful, you rob them of the chance to learn firsthand how to handle disappointment and regroup for the next big thing. Click To Tweet

3. Let them work for it.

When your kids want something, it’s not fun to make them wait, work for it, or hear them whine that they must sacrifice for it. But it’s worth it. Make your son mow lawns to chip in for the new gaming system. Encourage your daughter to put in extra hours of practice for cross-country tryouts. The sooner your children learn things don’t come for free, the less likely they’ll be to back down when something stands between them and their goals.

4. Share lessons from your own life.

Did you have to overcome challenges in school or your professional life? Share your stories of rising to the occasion and inspire your kids. As they grow older, you may be able to talk about struggles you’re currently facing and which life tools—like faith, hard work, and optimism—are getting you through.

5. Don’t let them wallow.

Sometimes people will treat your children unfairly, or things beyond their control will happen. Help them address their emotions—and then move on. Continuing to relive the slight will only keep them trapped and helpless. Teach your kids to forgive, let it go, learn from it, and figure out another plan.

6. Don’t let them play the victim.

We’re all tempted at some time to draw attention away from our own shortcomings by putting the focus on how others contributed to our failures. Don’t blame the teacher for making the test so hard. Instead, ask what you could have done to be better prepared. Don’t blame the loss on a bad call by the referee. Instead, think about scoring opportunities you didn’t cash in on and ways you can improve. It’s all about perspective.

7. Celebrate the victories.

The development of your kids’ character and toughness will often take place in moments when things don’t go as planned. It may take weeks, months, or years for them to recognize how they grew and what they learned, but talk about it and celebrate those strides just like you do the obvious wins.

What are you doing to instill strength into your kids?

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