The boy woke before dawn, rubbing his eyes. He tossed off his covers, dressed, and carried his duffel bag to the front hall. “I’m ready!” he called, but no one answered. Confused, he wandered back to the kitchen where he found his mom in her bathrobe. “Aren’t we going?” he asked. For a second, his mom didn’t understand. But then she smiled and pulled him in for a hug. “We’re leaving tomorrow, sweetie. Not today.” His rigid body relaxed, his mistake sinking in. “But why don’t you sit down?” his mom continued. “I’ll make you some eggs and bacon.” As they ate, the boy talked about the upcoming trip, the book he just finished, and his hopes of making the track team next month. The boy’s mistake had turned out to be a gift for both of them. “That morning with my mom sticks out in my memory,” my husband told me years later. “I had her all to myself.”
Kids enjoy time with their moms perhaps more than some of them let us know. Not only is it fun, but there are 5 more big benefits for kids when you spend time with your child.
1. Higher Levels of Self-Confidence
Friendships change for various reasons. My daughter’s best friend moved away the summer before fourth grade. She was crushed! But moms are a constant source of love for their children. We don’t leave. In fact, when we spend more time with our children, it builds them up. I may not always want to sit on my daughter’s floor and play make-believe games, but spending time together tells her she matters to me.
Spending time with your child conveys your love. Because she knows your love will always be there, she’s able to be herself—even her naughty self sometimes—and know she’ll be accepted.
2. Fewer Mental-Health Issues
After church last Sunday, our family went to a LEGO convention and spent a couple hours dropping our jaws at some amazing creations. We finished the day with a family meal at a burger place around the corner. It was great!
Pediatrician and author Leonard Sax says that kids who eat more family dinners with their parents have an increase in their “general satisfaction with life.” He goes on to say that kids who ate nightly with their parents were less likely to internalize their problems and feel sad, anxious, or lonely. Every extra meal helped!
3. A Better Attitude (More Respect Toward You)
“Wanna play Uno?” my daughter asked. We’d just finished dinner with our family and while my husband worked with my son on homework, my daughter and I played cards. “I can’t believe I won!” I said after the first game. She usually beats me. “Best out of three?” she asked. We battled it out and somehow, I came out victorious that evening.
When we spend time with our kids, we talk and share interests. As moms, it’s our duty to teach our kids there are “pleasures higher and deeper than video games and social media,” as Sax puts it. And “having fun together is one foundation of authoritative parenting.” One of the benefits of spending time with your child is a cultivation of respect.
One of the benefits of spending time with your child is a cultivation of respect. Click To Tweet4. Less Troubling Behavior
“Let’s get breakfast tomorrow,” my dad said years ago. “Before school?” I asked. “This place I know has great pancakes,” he replied, not backing down. The next morning, I rode with my dad half-asleep to the diner. It felt like the middle of the night. But as soon as we slid into the booth and unfolded our sticky menus, I woke up. My dad had found a way to spend extra time with me and I loved him for it.
Sure, my dad could’ve let me sleep because tweens love to sleep. But if he did, I would’ve missed out. Research tells us that firm yet fun parents have kids who are less likely to get involved with drugs, alcohol, and sex. So even if it’s tempting to let kids stay home and play video games or scroll social media, insist they come if you’re heading out for a walk some evening or to the pier to fish.
5. Better Decision-Making Skills
“Party this Friday!” an upperclassman said as he pounded my son’s freshmen lunch table. “You gotta come lit! Wooo!” He took off. My son told me about it after school. I asked him if he knew what “lit” meant and together, we both worked out its meaning. “Not going,” he muttered.
One of the many benefits of spending time with your child is finding out what goes on in their lives. Another benefit is they learn our values. And on top of that, they’re able to make decisions for themselves based on our shared values. Sounds like a win all around.
The benefits of spending time with your child seem endless. Can you think of more?
