Just 18.19 seconds. Back in 2014, that’s how long it took then 17-year-old Marcel Fernandez Filho to tap out a 25-word paragraph on his phone and claim the Guinness World Record for fastest texter. It’s like his thumbs had a tiny motors!
If you’ve ever watched your kids text, you might think it comes so naturally they could do it in their sleep. But like any form of communication, kids can overanalyze texts and even develop text anxiety, which preoccupies their minds and becomes a source of panic and stress. If yours seems to obsess over texts, here’s how to recognize and help her through text anxiety. And I’ll share the 25-word paragraph Marcel had to type, and you can time your teen (or yourself)!
First, what exactly is text anxiety?
Simply put, text anxiety is the fear of sending or receiving texts. Texting brings a lot of uncertainty. You can’t predict when or how recipients will respond or even if they will respond at all. For teens still learning the fine details of communication (aren’t we all?) and navigating friendship circles, texting can feel risky or even intimidating.
Have you ever written and deleted a text five times? Or sent a text and then worried that you offended the person because they read it and haven’t replied (or ignored it)? Or have you seen texts pop up and felt overwhelmed by the idea of replying? Those might seem like normal stresses that go along with communication, but they can be a lot to handle for kids.
While text anxiety isn’t a diagnosable disorder, one study found that one in five people is affected by it.
How can you help your teen handle text anxiety?
1. Tell her to give the benefit of the doubt.
If the text anxiety flares when a friend takes too long to respond, and your teen worries if the relationship is OK, tell her to pause and think. When has she been away from her phone and unable to reply right away? Even that one friend whose phone needs to be surgically removed from her hand occasionally has other things to do.
2. Encourage her to use emojis.
Emojis look like silliness, and you might find them cryptic, but if miscommunication or misunderstanding is a source of text anxiety for your teen, an emoji will help clarify the tone. When your daughter’s friend texts to say she aced the chemistry midterm your daughter got a B on, adding a winky face to her reply, “You’re such a nerd!” will make it clear her comment is in jest.
3. Identify which friends are not safe to text with.
Some people are quick to misinterpret a text and stir up drama. You know who that person is in your own life, and hopefully, you’ve put them in the “it’s best to just call” category. Help your teen recognize where there’s a pattern and avoid texting with that friend.
4. Create phone-free time.
If your teen’s text anxiety centers around a constant need to check for texts or pressure to reply quickly, agree on a few times during the day when her phone is turned off so she can mentally disconnect. She can tell her friends not to expect a reply during those times or put on an auto-response.
5. Remind him he’s got this.
When my friend’s son first got his phone, he asked her to read his texts before he sent them. He was nervous about saying the wrong thing and sabotaging budding friendships. If your teen comes to you for help, that’s great! You’ve been given an opportunity to coach him in healthy communication and gently push him toward independence. Tell him he’ll get it and to always err on the side of kindness and sincerity.
OK, now that you’ve got tools to help with text anxiety, want to try to beat the record?
Can you text this paragraph in fewer than 18.19 seconds?
The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human.
How’d you do? Did your kids beat you?
