My poor husband, he of the super neat closet and organized desk. Alas, the fellow has chosen to spend his life with me… a queen of clutter. However, knowing that he does not like clutter (who does?), I try to keep the chaos to a manageable minimum. And when our home is somewhat clutter-free, it really does feel better.
So that got me thinking about clutter in marriage… things we all accumulate over the years and stuff into the recesses (closets) of our hearts and minds to deal with later. What if we could clear out that clutter and declutter our marriage? We can! And the results will be worth it. Because if we’re married, decluttering our life in a meaningful way should start with decluttering our most important relationship—our marriage.
1. Throw out one bad habit.
Okay, we all have bad habit clutter, things we do without even thinking about it. What’s a bad habit in your marriage you can get rid of? Do you assume the worst about your husband instead of assuming the best? Is your bad habit not giving him your full attention when he’s talking to you? Is it interrupting him when he’s talking? Chose one bad habit and put it by the curb, today.
2. Organize your priorities.
The clutter in our marriage comes from not being clear about what’s important to keep doing for the relationship and what’s not. So when we organize our priorities, we can put our marriage front and center on the best shelf where it can get the attention it deserves. Once you’ve decided to put your marriage where it belongs on your list of priorities, then figure out where the rest of your commitments belong.
3. Don’t hang onto grudges.
Picture your messiest closet. Now zero in on those things you’re hanging onto that are just taking up valuable space. Not only that, they’re preventing you from seeing the good stuff hidden behind them. Grudges can blind us to the good things about our husband. And, when we’re holding onto a grudge we’ll see everything he does—even the good things—in the light of that grudge because grudges make us bitter. Get rid of the grudges by using forgiveness as your cleaning method.
4. Accept the things you can’t change.
There is some clutter in our lives, and in our marriages, that we can’t get rid of. Just like that old high school jersey your husband can’t let go, there are things in our marriage that are here to stay. And some things are just not worth fighting over because they are not going to change. For example, if he doesn’t like big parties as much as you do, that’s a personality trait that is probably not going to change. So accept it. If you don’t get along with his brother or mom, understand that they’re not going anywhere, and you might as well make up your mind to improve those relationships as best you can.
So what’s the clutter you need to clear out in your marriage?
