“All he wants to do is play video games,” I thought. I knew it was OK in moderation, but if his only interest was video games, I worried my son would miss out on life. Even if a kid says he’s not interested in other things (like board games or sports), he needs to learn how to be social and how to live without constant stimulation from a screen.
Bad habits are hard to break for people of all ages, but since you’re the mom, you have the power and authority to curb your child’s behavior. Give your child a gift he’ll appreciate down the road by taking these 5 steps to limit video game time and pull the plug on an unhealthy habit.
1. Establish new rules.
How many hours a week does your child play video games? If it’s 20 hours give or take, says pediatrician and author Leonard Sax, it’s too much. He’s not living up to his potential and it’s time to cut back. Start by establishing the rules: “From now on, no video games until your homework and chores are done.” Let him know that playing video games is a privilege for good behavior and doing well in school. Then, set limits: “Only one hour a day on school nights.”
As Sax says, it’s not going to be easy to limit video game time. But you need to “disconnect the video game and redirect” your child “to find and to fulfill his or her potential.”
2. Address your child’s attitude and goals.
Once you pull the plug on excessive video gaming, your child’s going to have more time on her hands and may not know what to do with it. She might also lash out at you for taking away her fun. Even though it’ll probably be a difficult transition, it’s important to stay firm and not tolerate disrespect. “There will be no Nintendo Switch when you talk to me like that.”
Help your child reach her potential by exploring new activities with her. Sax says that “part of the task of the parent is…teaching your child to desire and enjoy things” that are better than video games. Are there classes at the local YMCA? Clubs at school? Introduce her to your hobbies or help her find a new book series to read. If she balks at everything you present, try not to get discouraged. It might take time.
3. Review your family’s values.
We want our kids to be honest, kind, and loving people. But if they’re planted behind a screen too much, they’re not getting practice interacting with the world and practicing the values we’re trying to teach. Additionally, says Sax, “kids who spend many hours a week playing violent video games…become more hostile, less honest, and less kind.”
Spending time together as a family helps reinforce values you want your child to have. Eat dinner as a family. Spend time outdoors. And use that time to talk. We have a better chance of raising kind kids when they have more opportunities to interact with us and others. Even if your child uses video gaming to socialize with friends, he still needs to have face-to-face experiences. Help him to make this a priority by encouraging your child to do other activities with friends on the weekends.
Even if your child uses video gaming to socialize with friends, he still needs to have face-to-face experiences. Click To Tweet4. Do a weekly review and assessment.
I’ve often fallen into the trap of setting new rules and forgetting about them a week or two later. But with video games, I’m trying harder. I know my kids shouldn’t play too much and they’re missing out on other things when they do. So, I’ve set a reminder on my phone for a weekly check-in.
Talk with your child about how she thinks she’s done that week. Use this time to review screen time limits along with behavior and attitude. Let your child share her thoughts on how it’s going.
5. Spend family time doing something fun.
I want my kids to experience the world and not just the virtual one. A couple weekends a month, our family tries to get out and do something different. Just walking around the city or a public park gets kids moving. As Sax says, once you unplug the device, you need to “get your child or teen reconnected to the world of real experience” whether that includes face-to-face conversations, playing field hockey, or chasing tadpoles.
If your child cringes at the thought of family time, you might have to gently push him into joining. If you remain consistent with the rules and limit video game time, he’ll learn you’re serious and eventually, he might stumble on something he likes. If it takes a while, don’t lose hope! It’ll be worth it.
How difficult do you think it would be to limit video game time in your home?
