Smarty pants, mini-me, sport… Some of the labels we put on our kids are positive. Then there are the negative ones—lazy, absent-minded, emotional. Labeling kids is tempting for adults. After all, we use labels as adults to help us gauge how to interact. For example, “This person is ‘aggressive,’ so be careful how you give feedback.” Or “She is a workaholic, so she’ll definitely say yes to working overtime.'” Using labels on adults isn’t fair or healthy, but it’s especially problematic to use them on kids. In this episode, we talk about why and how to avoid them.
What are some labels that were said about you as a child? And how did you respond to them? Were you told you’re “not a math person,” or you’re “a crybaby,” “a drama queen,” “a girlie girl,” “shy,” or “a wild-child?” Think about how a label made you feel. If you could’ve given yourself a label, what would it have been? In this episode, Chloe shares a label that was put on her by a teacher and reminds us all of the power all adults have in speaking into kids’ lives.
Some of the ways we label are more subtle. Like when our kids hear us label others with words we don’t say about them. “My older daughter is a social butterfly. She can get along with anyone.” We also do it when we say something out of anger: “This backpack is a mess! You are horrible at keeping your work organized” And then there are the times they hear us talking about them. “He’s smart enough to get an A in this class. He’s just lazy.” Do any of those hit home for you? We’ll give you a lot to think about in this episode, including reasons and ways to avoid labeling kids.
Positive labels are hard to resist, and when used carefully, they can sound like praise. But there are better ways to shine a light on our kids when they do well. What would sound better to a kid: “She works really hard at the piano and her practice pays off,” or “She’s our little Mozart! She has a gift!” We discuss how positive labels can come across like pressure or put a child in a box. If you label your kids in this way, don’t worry. Just start thinking about the words you choose, and try to focus on the effort or your child’s innate worth.
Articles We Mentioned
Six 4-Letter Words Never to Say to Your Child
5 Ways Labeling Hurts Our Children
Printables We Think You’ll Like
