Do you have a child who loves to take control? Abby has a bossy (or maybe assertive) child, and she’s learning how to respond in a way that will help develop it as a strength instead of making him feel like it’s something to fix. In this episode, she tells the story of her chat with her older son about how much he bosses his little brother around. When the conversation led to him trying to tell her what to do, she realized she needed to work on this issue with him. If you’re parenting a bossy child, what do you say when you catch him or her in the act?
Do you think bossiness depends on birth order? It’s rare to find a bossy second-born child. Susan defends the bossy firstborn kids saying there’s a difference between bossing, bullying, and helping. Many firstborns get enlisted by Mom to keep an eye on siblings, so maybe we create the monsters.
And then there’s gender. Bossy boys and bossy girls are perceived and parented differently. A lot of parents see bossy boys as having leadership qualities and praise them but tell bossy girls that people won’t like them if they boss others around. The underlying message is that girls should care more about being liked than about being leaders. For both boys and girls, there are things you can do to grow healthy leadership and tame the dictator, and Abby shares a few of those ideas with the group.
Have you ever wondered why bossy kids are bossy? Abby also shares four possible reasons plus ways bossy kids can still take the lead but do it in a way that gains them friends (or a stronger sibling relationship) instead of costing them.
Articles We Mentioned
Parenting the Bossy Child
3 Sneaky Ways Anxiety Comes Out in Kids
How to Parent Well Based on Birth Order
Science Direct Article on Power and Status
Printables We Think You’ll Like
If you have a bossy child, when do you see it coming out most?
