“Is your leg OK?” I asked my son while we were on a walk after dinner. He rubbed his knee and said, “It hurts, but it’s fine. Let’s keep going.” We got in our two miles, and as the house came back into view, I saw my younger son standing on the sidewalk in the dark, holding his teddy bear, Hobbes. When we got closer, he said, “I wanted to go along, but you were already gone.”
My heart sank. When I’d asked earlier, he said he wasn’t interested, but apparently he had changed his mind. I am really struggling to connect with this kiddo, and every day seems to bring new challenges. If I let myself, I could easily spiral into worry over him. Instead, I try to focus on the big picture and parent with purpose. If you need help parenting with purpose, pick one of these 3 simple truths to guide you each day.
1. It’s just a phase (so parent like love matters most).
My friend Meredith’s daughter went through a sassy phase that really tested Meredith’s patience. She read a couple of books (and an iMOM article) to help her know how to respond, but she made sure it was clear to her daughter that she loved her, even with the sass.
If your parenting changes as frequently as your kids’ phases, they’ll be confused, and you’ll feel like you have multiple personalities. Adjust your approach to parent appropriately through the phase, but make sure love comes first, and you’ll be prepared for anything that comes your way.
2. You’re “on” 24/7.
I still remember my dad bringing an envelope of cash on our family vacation to San Francisco. We didn’t talk about why, but I’d hoped it was for souvenirs. Instead, he pulled out $5 for every homeless person we walked by. He didn’t lecture us on helping those in need, but by watching him, I learned giving was part of our family identity.
You might hear “Mommy, look!” more times than you can count in a day, but eventually, your children will stop asking you to watch them and just start watching you. Remembering you’re always “on” is a great way to parent with purpose.
3. You’re an investor.
In the book Don’t Miss It, Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy argue that our attraction to immediate results can keep us so busy that we neglect things that have a lasting but less visible or immediate impact. We want a meaningful talk to turn a misbehaving child’s bad habits around right away, but one singular moment isn’t enough to create lasting change. Parenting requires making small deposits of time, attention, and care day after day.
Parenting requires making small deposits of time, attention, and care day after day. Click To TweetI love the saying “You’re not raising children. You’re raising adults.” When we keep showing up and investing in our kids, we’ll see a return on that investment when they’re adults.
What other things do you keep top of mind to help yourself parent with purpose?
