I love to spend time with my kids, but I also love getting things done. One busy day years ago, my son looked up at me with his big, brown eyes, held up a plastic locomotive, and said, “Twain twack?” A dozen reasons why I couldn’t play trains ran through my mind, with one being, “He’s just going to take the track apart anyway.”
If you’re a productivity addict like me, a lot of parenting can feel like wasted time. But what if the moments that feel unproductive when you compare them to your to-do list are actually the most valuable time you can spend with them? If you can put aside productivity for a little while, here are 7 meaningful ways to “waste” time with your kids.
1. Be silly.
My friend Laura knows how to embrace fun. She showed up at my doorstep one day to deliver something for our kids’ class, but she also brought a random item: a canister of glow sticks. She said, “I had some extras and I thought maybe you could have a glow-in-the-dark dance party tonight. We did it and had so much fun.” We waited for the sun to set, made glowstick crowns, necklaces and belts, and danced to 99 Red Balloons over and over again.
When you waste time with kids by being silly, you’re showing them fun is just as important as productivity.
2. Work on a project together.
My dad is the champion of this. My kids wander into his garage and say, “Whatcha doin?” He’ll bring them into the project and teach them how to cut, nail, measure, or do whatever he’s working on that day. I’m sure his progress is slowed down by their involvement.
When you waste time by letting your kids help with a project, you not only help them learn, you tell them their presence is more important than the task. That builds self-esteem and confidence.
When you waste time by letting your kids help with a project, you not only help them learn, you tell them their presence is more important than the task. That builds self-esteem and confidence. Click To Tweet3. Pray.
Before you get angry with me for saying prayer is a waste of time, hear me out. It takes a lot of discipline to make prayer a priority, and when life gets busy, it’s easy to cast prayer aside. When the day is winding down and I just want to give out quick hugs and turn off the kids’ bedroom light so I can get in the shower, spending time with kids in prayer feels like work. And honestly, sometimes part of my prayer is, “God, are you listening?”
When you “waste” time with kids in prayer, you teach them about faithfulness and persistence.
4. Get lost.
One of my favorite memories with my mom is of driving around our city making wrong turns. We’d cruise roads we’d never been down, look at houses, and pick our favorites. Sometimes we’d lose track of where we were, but we didn’t care because we were together.
When you waste time with someone you love by getting lost together, you’re saying, “Even though I don’t know where ‘here’ is, it’s the only place I want to be.”
5. Lay next to them.
See yourself for a moment through your kids’ eyes. Do you usually have a book or phone in your hands? Are you always folding laundry or cooking? For our kids to talk to us, they often have to interrupt. But when you lay down next to your child, whether it’s at bedtime or on the couch while they’re watching TV, you make yourself available.
When you waste time being unproductive by laying down next to your child, you’re saying “I’m all yours.”
6. Have a pointless conversation.
Currently in my house that conversation is about Minecraft. While I listen to my son tell me about the underwater base he’s built, my eyes start to glass over, but I force myself to engage. Maybe for you it’s listening to your daughter talk about Taylor Swift or your tween chat about what he wants his first car to be.
When we spend time with kids in conversations that aren’t about goals, discipline, or the schedule, we build our relationship with them and say, “You’re interesting to me.”
7. Make a mess.
I have a small house, so tidiness matters to me. When my kids asked if they could bring all their stuffed animals to the living room for movie night and then leave them out ’til the next day, it pained me. We’re talking, like, 100 stuffed things. I had to look away as we shut down the house and went to bed with the floor covered in “buddies.” But hauling out their toys made them feel like the space was theirs, too.
When you spend time with kids making a mess, you show them you can relax and let go of some of your rigidness, which makes them feel more at ease.
Want more encouragement to help you take parenting a day at a time? Listen to this episode of the iMOM Podcast and subscribe to get new episodes every Monday.
What other way to spend time with kids seems wasteful but is actually valuable?
